Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
