im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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