I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
