By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
