Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dignity is for republicans.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
