she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize