if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
