Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
