The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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