So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
