i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
