Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
