You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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