My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
