How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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