He uses pillows to masturbate.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
