Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
