I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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