is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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