I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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