thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
