....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
