yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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