The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
