So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize