First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize