Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize