I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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