Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
