Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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