oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
