Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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