You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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