butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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