you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
