How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
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