me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
