a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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