in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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