last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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