I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
