these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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