My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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