dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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