My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
