Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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