he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
