the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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