Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
