Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
