the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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