I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
